Tuesday, December 06, 2005

UT Crimeline

Ya gotta love these -- highlights from recent UT Crimeline messages, especially when they "display a severe involuntary physical reaction to the over-consumption of an alcoholic beverage".

JESTER CENTER WEST, 201 East 21st Street

Consumption of Alcohol by a Minor: Two UT students were observed assisting a third UT student up a flight of stairs located on the west side of the dormitory. The two assistants needed to hold the third student upright while the officer spoke with them. The student in need of assistance was found to have consumed alcoholic beverages to the point she was a physical endangerment to herself. The two assistants dropped the intoxicated student when she began to display a severe involuntary physical reaction to her over-consumption of an alcoholic beverage. One of the two assistants stated she is a daily reader of the Campus Watch and requested this report be omitted from today’s watch – oops, too late; my apologies. Occurred on 12-4-05 at 2:20 AM.
Crime Prevention Tip:
I placed this entry into the Campus Watch to illustrate the importance of having sober friends around when you’ve been drinking. As shown in this case, a sober friend will not keep you from getting a citation, but it may keep you from going to jail. If the student in this case did not have sober buddies with her, she would have been arrested for public intoxication. More importantly, a sober buddy will keep you from getting injured or worse. Just be careful when selecting your sober buddy. If that person is squeamish around partially digested stomach contents, he or she may drop you as a friend – literally.

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and someone enters a room to "clean the room without university authorization"? Gee, wish someone would enter my room to clean it!


JESTER CENTER ACADEMIC, 201 East 21st Street

Criminal Mischief: A UT staff member reported a non-UT subject had been entering a student lounge to clean to the room without university authorization and would frequently slide hand written notes under the door to the lounge when the lounge is closed. On one occasion, the subject wrote on a poster that was displayed in the lounge. Repair cost: $25.00. Reported on 12-1-05 at 7:50 AM.

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HARRY RANSOM CENTER, 300 West 21st Street

Disorderly Conduct – Exposure (2 counts) / Evading (2 counts): Two UT students were found running on the east side of the building wearing little more than their smiles. The students ran from the police officer when ordered to stop. When stopped, the students stated they had recently watched a movie that included a scene where the actor was streaking and a friend bet them $20.00 they would not streak around the Dobie Center. The students won the bet. Occurred on 11-5-05 at 2:00 AM.

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PERRY-CASTANEDA LIBRARY, 101 East 21st Street

Obscene Display / Criminal Trespass: A UT student reported a non-UT subject who was using a 2nd floor computer to view graphic images that would make even a sailor blush. The subject was reckless about the images being seen by another who could be offended. In addition to other law enforcement action taken, the subject was issued a written criminal trespass warning. Occurred on: 11-14-05 at 10:37 PM.

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(Fight Club?)

2100 Guadalupe

Disorderly Conduct (Fighting in a Public Place) / Public Intoxication (2 counts): A UT police officer observed a non-UT subject straddling a second non-UT subject, who was lying on the ground. The first subject was repeatedly punching the second subject in the face. Both subjects were found to be under the influence of an alcoholic beverage to the point they were a physical endangerment to themselves and each other. The subjects stated they wanted to see who was stronger and which one would win if they actually got into a fight. That question was answered as the subject who was being punched in the face needed to be transported by Austin-Travis County EMS to a local hospital for the treatment of a broken nose. Occurred on 11-1-05 at 1:55 AM.

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JESTER CENTER WEST, 201 East 21st Street

Public Intoxication / Minor in Possession of Alcohol / Possession of Marijuana / Possession of Drug Paraphernalia / Evading Arrest / Resisting Arrest: A Resident Assistant walked by a table at the outdoor sports court and overheard three students talking. One of the students stated “Go ahead and fire up that blunt.” When the student saw the Resident Assistant, one of them said, “It’s okay – he’s not a cop.” As a police officer approached, an unidentified student flagged the officer down and pointed out one of the three students and said the student was drunk, smoking marijuana and trying to start fights with people. When the three students saw the officer approaching they stood up and began to walk away. One of the three students was still holding a burning blunt. The student with the blunt refused to heed the officer’s order to stop claiming the officer had no jurisdiction to stop him. When the officer was able to stop the student, the student protested and grabbed the epaulettes on the officer’s uniform. The student continued to resist; even after the arrival of an additional officer. Once taken into custody, the student was found to be in possession of a can of beer and a plastic bag containing marijuana. The student was also found to be under the influence of alcohol to the point he was a physical endangerment to himself. Occurred on 10-30-05 at 3:18 AM.

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LITTLEFIELD FOUNTAIN, 200 East 21st Street

Criminal Mischief: An unknown subject affixed an undergarment to a statue of a female located inside the fountain. Removal cost: $5.00. Discovered on 10-30-05 at 10:45 AM.

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(Unlawful blow jobs?)

PRINTING AND PRESS BUILDING, 2100 Comal

Criminal Trespass: A non-UT subject was found sitting on the south side of the building holding a hair dryer in one hand and a beer in the other hand. The hair dryer was plugged into an electrical outlet on the south side of the building. The subject was issued a written criminal trespass warning. Occurred on 10-24-05 at 8:00 AM.

and on the same day. . .

2000 Robert Dedman

Driving While Intoxicated: While on patrol, a UT police officer observed a red Ford 2-door on the side of the road. The vehicle’s engine was running and its lights were turned on. The officer observed a non-UT subject sitting in the driver’s seat with his head back. The officer also observed a second non-UT subject leaning over the lap of the driver. As the officer pulled behind the vehicle, the driver put the vehicle into gear and turned the vehicle’s wheels in what appeared to be a distracted effort to pull away. The driver was found to be under the influence of an alcoholic beverage to the point he was driving while intoxicated. Occurred on 10-25-05 at 2:25 AM.
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JESTER CENTER WEST, 201 East 21st Street

Public Intoxication: A UT student, who was under the age of 21, was found lying on the ground next to a “puddle” of what appeared to be the student’s stomach testimonial of her alcohol consumption. The student was found to be under the influence of an alcoholic beverage to the point she was a physical endangerment to herself. Occurred on 10-14-05 at 4:00 AM.

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SAN JACINTO RESIDENCE HALL, 309 East 21st Street

Public Intoxication: A UT student, who was under the age of 21, was found unconscious on a 1st floor women’s restroom. When awakened, the student stated he was embarrassed about where he was, but insisted he would be fine in “a few hours.” The student then laid his head back down on a towel that had been impregnated with the contents of the student’s stomach; no doubt due to the amount of alcohol the student had previously consumed. The student was found to be under the influence of an alcoholic beverage to the point he was a physical endangerment to himself and others. Occurred on 10-13-05 at 11:15 PM.

2 comments:

gl. said...

well, your crimebeat has a lot more information than ours did. i say this as the person responsible for writing the crime blotter for our university's paper. :P

S. Brown said...

Reading our crimebeat is often the highlight of my day (oh, isn't that pathetic!) But some of these are just hiliarious.