Wednesday, September 27, 2006

More UT Crime Line/Campus Watch News

I can see it now -- sentenced to hard labor, the poor little squirrel struggles to move while attached to a little ball and chain made out of paperclips and a golf ball:


Criminal Mischief: As reported by a Campus Watch subscriber:

My husband and I were visiting our daughter, a UT student. As we, our daughter and 2 of her friends exited Kinsolving dorm Sat. Sept. 23 just after sunset, we saw a squirrel jump up on a bike seat and attack it. The seat was a soft one, foam covered with cloth. The squirrel ripped open the cloth in several places and used its paws to pull out the stuffing. We tried to scare it off, even throwing water on it, but it kept coming back. We couldn’t think of anything else to do to help the poor person who will have a destroyed bike seat. If you want, I could send you a picture of this perpetrator in the act of vandalism.

Friday, September 22, 2006

The Continuing Saga of Acne Girl and Sushi Boy

A follow up to yesterday's post -- one of my co-workers said that I should NOT try to hook these two up. After yesterday's escapade, she has come to the conclusion that Sushi Boy is too good for Acne Girl:

ROBERT L. MOORE HALL, 2515 Speedway

Failure to Identify / Attempted Theft: UT police officers responded to RLM on a reported suspicious person who had stolen a Dr. Pepper on 9-20-06. At the time of the theft the suspect was described as an Asian female, wearing a pink shirt and tan pants. When officers arrived, the owner of the vending cart pointed to an Asian female wearing a pink shirt and tan pants. The owner stated that the female had attempted to take a package of "Goldfish" crackers, and got her hand caught in the cookie jar. During the investigation, the subject stated that she was a current UT student, but provided a false name and date of birth. The officers realized that the subject was not forthcoming with her correct information; she was asked to repeat her telephone number and could not remember the number that she had just given. The subject admitted that she had lied about all of her personal information. The subject was taken into custody for Failure to Identify and transported to Central Booking. Occurred on: 9-21-06, at 10:10 AM.

(In yesterday's Campus Watch, the female perp was described as having acne.)

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Crime Watch in RLM

This happened in RLM yesterday (From the Campus Watch):

ROBERT L. MOORE HALL, 2515 Speedway
Theft: An unknown female was observed removing a can of Dr. Pepper from an unsecured storage cabinet and walked away without paying for the item.  The coffee shop owner yelled at the female to stop and followed her out of the building.  The unknown female is described as: Asian female, 28-30 years of age, shoulder length hair, with acne.  She was last seen wearing a pink T-shirt and tan pants.  Loss value: $.75.  Occurred on: 9-20-06, at 12:31 PM.
The perp returned to the scene of the crime yesterday -- she went into the library, so their security video picked her up -- the library staff gave the video to the coffee shop people who were going to show it to the police.

Then this came in on the campus watch right after the above theft:

Theft: A UT staff member observed an unknown subject take a handful of sushi from a private vender located on the second floor.  The subject left the area prior to the arrival of the officer.  The subject was described as: white male wearing an orange shirt.  Loss value: $4.00.  Occurred on: 9-19-06, at 7:00 PM.

My "matchmaking urges" (ala Ski Boy and Bikini Girl from a couple of years back, and there were also my efforts with trying to get the two cute redhead government major twins hooked up with the cute business twins, but one of the business major twins said that he and his brother didn't like to date twins) kicked in -- I have got to get these two matched up -- what a dream date -- she can take care of the drinks, and he'll get the food!

Well, there is a postscript to this story -- the female perp returned to RLM today and tried to rip off another can of Dr. Pepper -- this time the staff chased her off before she could take the product. But a little later, K., the manager of the stand, was upstairs, and she saw her sitting on a bench, reading. The perp didn't know who K. was (it was another employee who chased her yesterday) so K. nonchalantly used her cell phone to call the police. They arrived and K. said, "That's her!"

She didn't press charges though -- she just wanted to get her attention, and I think she gets handed over to Student Judicial Services.

(and Note to Self: "don't steal from a building that you spend a lot of time in!")

It's always a lot of fun in the RLM,

Monday, September 18, 2006


My office always celebrates "Talk Like a Pirate Day." This year we put up a sign which read, "Only X more days until Talk Like a Pirate Day!" (we changed the days remaining every few days or so, so it was never correct.) There was some fine print on our poster -- "Please sign our petition to get TLPD an official UT holiday! We don't yet have a petition, but if you ask, we will make one."

So a month went by and no one asked . . . until last week when a student walked through the door and said, "Do you really have a petition?" "No, but we'll make one. May we help you?" "Not really, I'd just like to use the stapler." Jesse said, "You may use the stapler, but only if you ask like a pirate." So he did -- but then he said, "If I were really a pirate, I'd just TAKE the stapler!"

Yes -- our office is getting into the TLPD spirit early!

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Aunt Pearl's Small Blouse (Spongebob in Reverse)

Almost as catchy as the original tune, although somewhat disturbing: